Many new parents are fortunate to have a few days, maybe a few weeks, with a partner, family, friends, or a postpartum doula supporting them. However, eventually they will be home alone with baby. As a certified breastfeeding counselor (CBC), you can help your clients prepare for their first days alone.
For breastfeeding parents who have had time with support, it can be intimidating to think about their first day home alone with baby. This is especially true when it is a first-time parent.
It is important to help clients have realistic expectations. Helping them be prepared and making use of the time they do have help can make their early days easier. Be sure to help them understand normal physiological breastfeeding so they can be prepared with realistic expectations about how their early days home alone with baby will go.
Here are seven things you can recommend to help your clients have an easier time home alone with baby:
#1 – “Pack” Breakfast And Lunch
Having their partner or support people pack meals, even when the parent is not leaving the home, can make things significantly easier. Why? Many breastfeeders find themselves ravenous as soon as they settle down to breastfeed.
When a partner is around, they can easily hand them a meal or snack. However, when home alone, it can be challenging to prepare a meal or snack while feeding and caring for baby.
Even feedings aside, between diaper changes, spit up, rocking and soothing baby, parents rarely have but a few moments and often only one hand to grab food. Having food prepped and ready which can simply be grabbed can make the difference between a miserably long day and one where a client is well nourished.
Sandwiches, salads, wraps, cheese, and crackers, cut fruit, apples dipped in nut butter, etc. are nutrient dense and easy to prepare ahead. An excellent job for a partner or support person to ensure their breastfeeding partner is well fed and therefore able to care for baby.
#2 – Sleep When The Baby Sleeps…No Really, Sleep When The Baby Sleeps
Your clients are likely sick of hearing this. Sleep when the baby sleeps can get old to hear, but it is repeated because it is true. There is a good chance they are not getting a solid eight hours of sleep each night. When someone has a young infant, they now need to think how to get their eight hours of rest over a twenty-four-hour period.
There are likely chores, showering, and other activities to be done, but rest is vital. Encourage your clients to aim to sleep during at least one or two of their baby’s daytime naps to catch up on rest.
#3 – Schedule A Helpful Visit
When parents first come home, lots of people are itching to visit. However, many of these visitors are guests wanting to see baby and not necessarily an extra set of hands to help.
Encourage your clients to think through their support system and schedule helpful visits during their first few days home alone with baby.
The key word being helpful, be sure it is someone who will be of assistance and not expect the client to host in anyway. Encourage them to choose a friend that will happily bring coffee, fold a basket of laundry, or not mind them drifting off to sleep when their little one finally gives into their nap.
#4 – Remind Clients Not to Stress About Chores When Home Alone With Baby
Yes, chores do eventually need to be done. However, encourage them to focus only on essentials and remind them to ask for help. Getting a week’s worth of laundry, the floors mopped, and the furniture dusted while also prepping three meals a day is not likely to happen when there is a newborn.
They might be able to get the laundry washed, but not folded; or they might be able to prep lunch, but order take out for dinner. Help them
When you are feeding, bathing, changing, and soothing a newborn 24/7 one simply has to adjust their chore expectations. Encourage them to choose the short-lived newborn cuddles over cobwebs, the days seem so long but this phase is fleeting.
And on their first day home alone, remind them to not worry about the chores!
#5 – Get A Shower Or A Bath If Possible
The first few postpartum showers feel like heaven on earth. As ones gets further into parenthood, they become the crutch which can get one through a long day as one finally feels human again.
Getting a shower with a newborn might seem like an impossible feat, but it is doable some days. After baby is fed, changed, and soothed, teach clients they can try using a swing or bouncy seat in or right outside the bathroom. The soothing noise from the shower is often enough to keep them settled long enough to wash hair (and wash away the spit up, leaking milk and other pleasantries of early parenthood).
If a client is needing to feel refreshed but baby is impossible to settle, they can try taking a bath together. A gentle bath can provide relaxation, skin-to-skin, and simply soothe both parent and baby.
They might find that while nothing else worked, a bath can quickly calm a fussing baby while helping them to reenergize enough to make it through the rest of the day.
#6 – Ask For Help
Our culture is not as community oriented as it once was. Many new parents feel the pressure to do everything on their own when it’s nearly impossible to parent without support.
If it is three in the afternoon and the thought of making dinner is haunting a client, remind clients it is okay to plan for take-out or ask friends or family if they can assist. If baby simply will not settle and one is at their wits end, encourage them to give a friend a call and see if they can come keep them company.
Every day will not be hard, but much of early parenthood takes a lot of support.
#7 – Encourage Them to Get Some Fresh Air
While it is important for clients to be cautious about germs, going outside does not really increase germ exposure. Taking a three-day old to the mall to get out is not ideal when it comes to germs but taking a walk in the neighborhood or hitting a local trail spot is not a big risk.
If it is really cold, encourage your clients to try opening the curtains to let in some sunlight. Otherwise, they should be sure to keep baby shaded but enjoy the fresh air. Even having coffee on your back deck or patio can be enough to refresh you and get you through the day.
Being home alone with baby while establishing breastfeeding can be challenging. However, with support and realistic expectations, you can help your clients thrive even on the hardest days.